So now...here we are, that first wedding is past -- and the huge wave of "let's do it now!" is over too. There seems to be time to breath for a minute. That second wave of same sex couples in love are sitting at a kitchen table or maybe on a front porch, trying to make decisions about what, where and when their special day is going to be. Since the vote in New York State, i have been pondering the big question: What is a gay wedding like? Do we copy the traditions of our parents? Do two woman have separate wedding showers? Do we have two same-sex cake toppers or does a same-sex wedding cake make a statement in a different way. Do both brides wear white? Is the stag party now visited by a reluctant Chippendale in a g string? How does the couple share the first bite of cake? Separate sides for the bride and bride? Do we keep the drunken "Alley Cat" and "Chicken Dance?" We have all seen it done poorly, sometimes with lasting repercussions. As a clan who has only been allowed, until recently, to be merely observers of weddings... maybe we can make the whole thing new and beautiful in a different way. What do you think?
The Next Day - Decompressing after the First Same Sex Marriage in NYS (volume one)
As you might expect Chris and I were, for the first few hours, starting around 4 pm yesterday, crazed as everything seemed to arrive at once, the tables, the linens, wedding cake and cupcakes (Dolci and Fairy Cakes) , the flowers (Floral Expectations) and of course the sparkling brides. The crack crew of APG (the stage, sound, an light people) were already underway by 3:30pm and before we knew it tables were set with linens, and accessorized with the most amazingly crafted cake and desert display, the stage was set with lights and floral arrangements, and the path to Luna point was beautifully illuminated . Soon after the small army of media were there filming the constantly charming grandmothers who seemed magically clear and eloquent at every turn. It wasn't until much later in the evening as the sun set, and the rainbow flag colors were to projected on the falls --as we all waited for Cheryle in her tux and Kitty in her lovely blue giown (sewn by her own hand) -- that I had a moment to turn around and be reminded of what was about to happen and that we were all only a hundred yards from one of the most beautiful natural wonders of the world-- and not a protestor in site. Honestly it was not until today after sleeping in, seeing the countless posts on line, then seeing the deep joy on so many faces, that it all hit me. WOW. I was told that 750 news stations across the world carried the story including France, Germany, Slovania and Brazil, Forbes,the New York Times, and Post. We are humbled beyond belief and so honored to have been a part of it all.
Our First Legal Marriage
This past week so much has happened: local theater in Buffalo, NY (the ALT at the Warehouse -- where I am on staff) had a benefit to raise money for our fall season. We had all the standard stuff; 3 hours of entertainment, Silent auction etc... We do a lot of new creative stuff there and my plan, was to read some love poems as part of the entertainment. Poems I have written to men over my twenty some years of being out. I was at home practicing these poems, when i suddenly burst into tears. The emotion came fast and unexpectedly. I had read these poems a zillion times to audiences in a variety of settings... but that night a week ago, something was very different. For the first time in all my years of dating men... i could get married to someone I loved. Wow.
So much has happened since that historic vote and there is more to come. Watch for some major website changes including photographs and a more user friendly event page, as well a blogs about what have cookin'.
AND THE BIG NEWS: we are extremely humbled, honored and excited to be the wedding planner for the union of Cheryle Rudd and Kitty Lambert -- New York State's first legal same sex marriage (Niagara Falls, NY, July 24.) Kitty and her partner were on the front lines and spent many hours talking to legislators, raising money and just being passionate about all of us having equal rights. In the process they were spit on, bible thumped, harrassed, threatened and screamed at-- so we want to make her wedding joyful. Watch for more details as we get closer BIG DAY!
David Butler is the owner of Pro Creation, a company based in Buffalo NY specializing in the